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youngPRO
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Writer seeking writers

Post by youngPRO »

I'm simply looking for other writers to bounce ideas off of and to have a group of people that are willing to help each other when there are a few road blocks in the creative process. I have some ideas that could use another mind to tweek anything that might not fit and I'm more then happy to do the same. I really enjoy talking about my ideas, as I'm sure everyone does, and just want to perfect my story. Just wanting to meet like minded people and connect over common interest. :D
Care_to_Dance?
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The Exception

Post by Care_to_Dance? »

Whilst I dislike talking at length about my own work, I do enjoy an exchange of ideas.
PM me sometime.
Like Takagi...from Bakuman...on Crack!
RMartian
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Talking Writing

Post by RMartian »

I'm always up for a chat about the craft and to help shape ideas into stories.
TheChairman
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im in

Post by TheChairman »

if the forum is still open, i'd like in. talking is fun.
youngPRO
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Post by youngPRO »

I'm restarting this post. I've come to a road block in my story and am looking for some help from you guys.
RMartian
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I'm all ears ...

Post by RMartian »

What's the dilemma?
Stein
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Post by Stein »

I'd be happy to help! :)
youngPRO
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Post by youngPRO »

Ok so first let me describe the story.

The story is a very dark take on superheroes in a futuristic technologically advanced society similar to our own, the only difference is that this societies history is much different than ours. After a revolutionary war, in stead of the country becoming very political an event happened that caused society to be very darwinistic leading to the social norm of this country to be very ruthless and selfish. Because of this the citizens are not as advanced as other countries so a syrum is invented to assist in "playing catch up" to the rest of the world. It was intended to make people more intelligent so that they could advance quicker but what was actually created was a syrum that gives people slightly increased intillect and athleticism. Eventually this syrum is the cause for the super humans in this world.There is two cities, one a utopian type city and the other a very run down anarchist city.

At one point in time both cities are prosperous but I want there to be a reason for one city to continue to prosper while the other city begins to become ghetto. The city will build a giant wall in order to seperate itself from the rest of the country.
The issue I'm having is trying to find a reason for the utopian city to initially wall itself off from the rest of the country. I know that's pretty vague but I'm hoping it's enough to get some ideas going.
RMartian
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My thoughts ...

Post by RMartian »

The "Ghetto" city could've started to reject the serum, wanting to return to being "normal" but that transition hasn't been easy. Or perhaps, just physically, the people can't use the serum anymore. Maybe they needed a new version, couldn't come up with it, and now things are going bad.

Who controls the manufacture of the serum? Perhaps one city is in control of a special resource needed to make the serum in the first place and it's purposefully keeping it from the other city to gain power over them.

As for city's/societies walling themselves in ... that could be as simple as this super-smart society convincing itself it's better than the rest of the world. With all the resources needed for their lifestyle, they isolate themselves. Or perhaps the walled in city knows something worse is coming. They've warned everyone else and walled themselves in for protection.
youngPRO
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Post by youngPRO »

Those are all good points that could help me elaborate the story more. I just have to see what I could make fit the best.
And I was thinking about the utopian city having a superiority complex and they being the reason why they walked themselves off but I wasn't sure if that was to simple. And the utopian city is going to be the capital so what I was planning is after they created the serum they began giving it to the citizens as a basic inoculation. So would the city limiting the amount that gets distributed to the other cities work as a reason the outer city would be less intelligent and very rebellious?
RMartian
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Post by RMartian »

Sometimes the simplest reasons are the most complex. A superiority complex/inteligence could drive a culture to isolation (consider the Chinese in real life centuries ago), but remember that choosing that path has a ripple effect on the culture. That sense of isolation would permeate through most citizens within the city. It's a simple reason, very realistic, but creates a wave that could alter details in the story. Characters from this city would either be somewhat isolationist if this is their first time outside its walls or meeting foreigners.

I'm thinking of it like a vaccine that all the people started getting at one point in their history. That vaccine doesn't pass on its own from one generation to the next, so it's standard to give it to people at an early age. If the serum-suppliers stopped sending it to the city then intelligence levels would slowly drop over generations, as would athletic ability, but dumber people aren't more rebellious, I'd say it's the opposite, they're easier to control. If you consider also that there would be an older generation of really smart people and increasingly larger numbers of younger, dumber people, you have a healthy, physically fit army that's easy to manipulate and too dumb to really question what's going on. If there is a rebellion rising, it seems logical that it's lead by someone who is smart/advanced with the serum or smart/advanced in a new way, perhaps passed genetically.
youngPRO
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Post by youngPRO »

Hmmm. So with that being said is it plausible for the older criminals to be the ones leading the anarchy?
And maybe I did explain properly but I figured since the history of their culture was very ruthless, selfish and power hungry that the current people would be more prone to rebellion and violence?
RMartian
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Post by RMartian »

Absolutely, I would think the older generation would even want to keep the serum away from most people because they're creating an obedient society of workers and warriors.

A selfish society, it depends, it can go the way it'll best serve your story. Sometimes criminals figure out that constantly stabbing each other in the back isn't a good long-term way of enjoying riches. Or there is no understanding and just consistent chaos.
Joachim LS
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Post by Joachim LS »

Aw, this is great! May i join?
RMartian
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But of course!

Post by RMartian »

The more ideas the merrier.
youngPRO
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Post by youngPRO »

Of course! That's what it's for.
Joachim LS
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Post by Joachim LS »

So is the idea to follow both societies in tandem? Maybe you could follow the "poor", trying to break into the walled-in "rich" society and perhaps learning, bit by bit, what happened since they isolated themselves?
Or maybe you follow the "rich", trying to fend off the poor - perhaps due to some propaganda or religion or something, that has lead the inhabitants to believe, its the right thing to do?
youngPRO
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Post by youngPRO »

The idea is to make a universe similar to Marvel or DC where there are many different characters that have stories that intertwine. The majority of the characters will be from the poor city but there are a few major characters from the rich city as well. They will all have their own back stories that all come together for climactic end to a story arc. I'm just trying to figure out what caused the poor city to become poor. When a city is first build it is nice and new with less crime so what essentially causes a ghetto to become ghetto? and what happens that could be bad enough to cause the utopian city to have the need to build a wall to isolate itself?
RMartian
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About Ghettos

Post by RMartian »

The easiest way for a city to go from good to bad is some sort of devastation. One of your heroes going bad and destroying something important like a power plant. A major event like a meteor or terrorist attack might not even have to devastate much, but just enough to get people paranoid and start avoiding each other or fighting each other out of fear. If it was a once good guy who did it, paranoia and mistrust would run rampant. Think of the reason that Batman decided to protect Harvey Dents actions in The Dark Knight. People need something good to look up to. In the absence of that they become scared animals.

If you have the whole scenario where the city's people are getting dumber, that's your answer right there. The city slowly falls into decay and disrepair. Look at American cities like Detroit, which just a few decades ago was one of the major cities and today is a wreck. The primary reason is that jobs disappeared along with many of the car manufacturers. Bad leadership didn't help. And defunding public education made it everything even worse.

One of your major villains could have planned the devolution of the city. Maybe he/she started changing rules here and there, creating divisions in the society, in order to create the ghetto city. A long-game plan to destroy this city and rule it or crush it or whatever.
youngPRO
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Post by youngPRO »

Yea that makes sense. Its very simple yet I can expand on it enough and it will be easy to tie in with the current story I have. Thanks for he idea. I was just over thinking it and trying to come up with a very complex reason when it wasn't necessary lol
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