Starlit Nights - Open for Review

Black Fox · Post by **Black Fox** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 5:27 pm

I think it's about time I got my comic reviewed...so here it is!!!

On a medieval setting, a young boy thief does his best to live his life. Adventure, humor and villains with glowing eyes!!! Kind of an epic fantasy adventure I'd say...

Here's the full description:

A boy starts a journey to answer the questions of his youth. Through a veil of mystery and deceit he will find himself with unlikely friends who will show him the meaning of love. Soon he will understand that he's not alone in his quest for truth. Soon he will come to see that what he really seeks is not his future of his life but the past of the world...for when the Winds of Destiny blow, mortals follow...

All comments are welcome!

Tim Mallos · Post by **Tim Mallos** » Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:19 pm

Yasso Gerasimos!

(That's all the polite Greek I know)

First, good for you for diving in and creating your comic.

My one observation is that your comic is formatted for print, and really a lot of work to read on a screen.

The title block on every page pushes the comic out of view, so a reader has to scroll to find the comic. The format (print page) requires a second scroll on each page.

It's hard to get into any narrative flow with all of the work needed to see the story.

Again, though, keep at it!

Tim

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 3:55 am

Yassou back to you then!!!

I guess I should delete the logo from the archives, thanks! Anyone else?

Black Fox · Post by **Black Fox** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 3:57 am

Emm, the above was me, forgot to log in first...duh.

Pumpkin Pie · Post by **Pumpkin Pie** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 6:26 pm

Am I blind? I don't see a link to your webcomic.

Tim Mallos · Post by **Tim Mallos** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 6:34 pm

Heheheh

Big animated banner.
Click it.

Pumpkin Pie · Post by **Pumpkin Pie** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:00 pm

Oh, I see. Or rather, I don't. I use Avant for my browser and it automatically removes banners before I see them. Could someone give me a URL please?

Tim Mallos · Post by **Tim Mallos** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:01 pm

http://starlit.keenspace.com/

Pumpkin Pie · Post by **Pumpkin Pie** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 7:05 pm

Tim Mallos wrote:http://starlit.keenspace.com/

Thanks, Tim!

Pumpkin Pie · Post by **Pumpkin Pie** » Tue Jan 04, 2005 8:19 pm

1) As Tim suggested, you need to majorly shrink that title.

2) But even if you eliminate the title, your comic pages are bigger than my window. Either shrink it or cut it into two parts and put them in sequence.

3) I would suggest not using a computer to do your lettering but to do them by hand. The lettering looks out of sync with the art.

4) Am I correct that you're using a No. 2 pencil for these drawings? I would suggest you get some softer leads from your local arts supply store. They'll give a more rich darkness. I'd suggest HB for fine details, charcoal (dark) for shading and shadows, and ebony ( http://tinyurl.com/4p857 ) for in-between needs. To smudge, you could use your fingers or get some blending tortillons ( http://tinyurl.com/666q5 ). All that will cost you around $5. Don't use an electric or hand-crank pencil sharpener as they devour these pencils. A cheap simple small one that you had in elementary school is what you want. That or a knife.

5) Get a pair of cheap small mannequins ( http://www.in2art.com/product/553 ). One male and one female. You can use either for either sex. Having two enables you to have something to look at for such things as embraces, fights, or simply walking side-by-side. You seem to be having a perspective problem and the mannequins should help you with that. Also, this link might also help in that regards: http://www.teako170.com/story2.html

Keep at it! Good luck!

Black Fox · Post by **Black Fox** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:14 am

Thanks Pie!

Revising: The title goes...in the archives at least...

Now I wouldn't change the lettering couse my hand lettering is total crap (we want to keep it readable).

As for the art supplies, I really never thought of a second mannequin and it could really help.

Thanks for the links!

Post by **Greg Stephens** » Wed Jan 05, 2005 12:27 pm

Black Fox wrote:Now I wouldn't change the lettering couse my hand lettering is total crap (we want to keep it readable).

I have a theory that if somebody has enough hand-eye coordination to draw, then they should have at least the same ability to letter. Remember that lettering is a skill which separate and apart from your regular handwriting. My handwriting is very difficult to read but I've learned to letter so that everything's pretty clear. I think it's worth learning. You can do so much more with hand lettering than you can with computer lettering unless you're willing to put in a lot of time with the computer.

Having said that, I think your computer lettering is just fine. You've chosen a font which works well for your style and the word balloons are nicely done. You've also avoided one of the most common problems with computer lettering for webcomics- That of the lettering being much darker than the surrounding art and calling undue attention to itself. In your comic, the lettering and art seem to have about the same contrast and black levels, which makes a big difference.

If there was one bit of constructive criticism I had to contribute, I would suggest that you leave some more white space around the words. Keep the lettering the same size, but expand the balloons a little bit. Not a lot, mind you, but just a little. (The rectangular boxes look fine to me.) That's just a nitpick, though.