I've only done 3 episodes so far, so maybe it's diffcult to comment- though the whole story is planned out and sort of scripted, so I know where it's all going. I've never done exactly this sort of thing before, so could use your honest advice.
I'm using Flash for each episode, as I view these episodes as more than just comic episodes, but more as miniature multimedia movies- and as time goes on I intend to add sound and interactivity. I know this moves away from the trad model of comics, but I find this more interesting than a flat page.
I really can not critique this animation too much. It's not really my background. The art is decent. My suggestion is to slow it down. Pacing is a delicate thing that needs to be worked on panel by panel in a comic. Since you are working in flash, you will have to concider each second a panel (much like one would see the frames on the film of a movie). It just seems like it is moving too fast. Is the guy running/jogging home, or walking home? And boy does that bird fly! Another problem is I hardly got a chance to read the first text in the third installment because it went by to fast. It took me the third time around to read it all. Frankly the whole thing for accuracy of walking speed, for readablity, as well as dramatic effect, by slowing down the pacing it will have a chance to build your story better. Just my humble opinion.
I agree with you that it's too fast. I think the problem is I get so familair with the content, I don't try to see the readability from the viewer standpoint. It's ironic, as I want to create an atmosperic mood, which obviously isn't working. I'll slow down the next installment.
The way you've implemented your hybrid of animation and paging through the story I end up waiting to make sure things are done moving before I click to the next installment. This, too, I think is hurting the pacing.
You might develop some sort of cue for the reader that the installment is over (change the border color, hilight a "next" link, something) so they may click to the next piece with more confidence.
You might also investigate loading successive flash movies into the same page, instead of blanking and refreshing the page (also a wrench in the pacing works).
Finally, woo hoo! You're making something! Keep making things!
Tim Mallos wrote:The way you've implemented your hybrid of animation and paging through the story I end up waiting to make sure things are done moving before I click to the next installment. This, too, I think is hurting the pacing.
You might develop some sort of cue for the reader that the installment is over (change the border color, hilight a "next" link, something) so they may click to the next piece with more confidence.
I strongly agree since I had the same problem ... the second panel I was sitting there going, "okay, what next?"
Tim Mallos wrote:Finally, woo hoo! You're making something! Keep making things!
Yes! Welcome abord to web comic scene and keep up the good work!
- it's not obvious that each episode has finished and what you need to do next
- you don't know where you are in the series- if it's the latest episode, or an earlier episode.
- no idea how many episodes in the series
I need to think about this! Many of these problems are connected with my site being hosted on keenspace, and this is how their navigation tags work, but there must be ways of improving it.
Thanks for your support - this is all helpful to me
I tend to agree with Tim and David, but I want to say upfront... Cool! My first thought when I watched the first episode was, what is he using, and how can I incorporate a little animation to grab people's attention. The bird in the most recent episode flew across the screen, and I was caught off-guard, not realizing that the panel was animated.
It looks like you're just getting started, so I will reserve any story commentary for the moment, but you've piqued my interest.
- Bill
Check out this week's <a href="http://www.monsterhollow.com">Featured Creature</a>
I thought it was interesting, but I also wish there was a 'The End' for each panel. I also wish there was a 'start' button for each panel. I have a 56k modem, and I read webcomics by opeing up all of them at the beginning of the surfing session and letting them all load. If one is animated, I won't notice.
Neither the end nor the start need to be really explicit or follow a standard of any sort, and they could actually be the same thing. A red circle, a green sphere, a slightly pulsing logo of the comic's name -- it doesn't matter, as long as it's internally consistent. This thing would show up when the panel was done, and clicking on it would re-play the panel.
Eh. Ideas are a dime a dozen, do whatever seems right.
But definitely slow down the panel with the walking and the bird and the text. There's no indication that the text is going to pop up there, and it disappears before the reader's eye can swivel over and read it.
I like the general concept, and I hope you continue with it. Good luck.
