Scott v. Bear

jazzsammich · Post by **jazzsammich** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 12:58 pm

Right now, it's:

51% -- Scott
48% -- Bear

I think this gives you a Mandate to go lord it over all the bears nationwide.

--jim

Post by **Greg Stephens** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:00 pm

Not so fast! As of this moment, the poll's at 49% Scott, 50% bear. (The remaining 1% have presumably voted Nader.)

Post by **Greg Stephens** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 2:01 pm

And now 50% Scott; 49% Bear! The excitement mounts!

Post by **Greg Stephens** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 4:52 pm

Hmmm.... Since lunchtime, Scott's received an awful lot of votes, putting him up to 61% to 38% over the bear. There are 2502 votes as I type this. I think there were somewhere around 1600 or maybe 1900 when I looked earlier today. Is there any evidence of voter fraud in this system? Or were the early exit polls actually so bad that the could not predict Scott pulling ahead by such a large margin?

Post by **Scott McCloud** » Fri Jan 28, 2005 5:14 pm

Kurt Busiek called this morning to cheerfully inform me that he voted for the bear.

William G · Post by **William G** » Sat Jan 29, 2005 12:28 am

Last I heard, the bear hired Karl Rove to work for him. This morning I saw an ad on my TV that had some Vietnam vets saying bad things about Scott.

It doesnt look good.

Rip Tanion · Post by **Rip Tanion** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 7:23 pm

Gee, I'd put the Bear in a landslide. Bear beats Scott, then eats Scott. No contest. Something's fishy.

Of course, the voting system is faulty. Nothing to stop someone from voting over and over again. I just voted for the Bear ten times in a row...and I don't even live in Chicago (I live in Bronx County, where dead people, and illegal aliens vote, so I guess it's almost the same thing). I would have voted for the Bear even more times, but my finger got tired.

Scott might be ahead right now had there been a higher turnout of Sunnis in Tikrit.

Post by **Greg Stephens** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 4:03 am

Rip Tanion wrote:Bear beats Scott..

Rock beats bear?

Ray Radlein · Post by **Ray Radlein** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 5:01 am

Greg Stephens wrote:
Rip Tanion wrote:Bear beats Scott..
Rock beats bear?

Scott Raps Rock!

(Which actually suggests a "What Else Does Scott Understand?" illustration of a hardcore rapper named MC Loud)

Post by **Greg Stephens** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 12:27 pm

Ray Radlein wrote:(Which actually suggests a "What Else Does Scott Understand?" illustration of a hardcore rapper named MC Loud)

Which, of course, means now you have to do that!

Rip Tanion · Post by **Rip Tanion** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:04 pm

Greg Stephens wrote:
Rip Tanion wrote:Bear beats Scott..
Rock beats bear?

Good one, Greg. Of course, it would have to be a pretty big rock.

Scott inks paper?

Greg Stephens wrote:
Ray Radlein wrote:(Which actually suggests a "What Else Does Scott Understand?" illustration of a hardcore rapper named MC Loud)
Which, of course, means now you have to do that!

Don't forget to give him lots of chains, gold teeth, an Kangol hat, and a 9mm tucked into his pants (which, of course, are baggy, beltless, and slung down so low as to be be indecent).

Eric F Myers · Post by **Eric F Myers** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:20 pm

Rip Tanion wrote:Scott inks paper?

I don't think Scott has touched paper in years. It's more like "Scott right clicks mouse."

Ray Radlein · Post by **Ray Radlein** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 2:09 am

Greg Stephens wrote:
Ray Radlein wrote:(Which actually suggests a "What Else Does Scott Understand?" illustration of a hardcore rapper named MC Loud)
Which, of course, means now you have to do that!

It'll have to get in line behind the one I've had in mind riffing on the cover of Elvis Costello's My Aim is True and the song "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding" (which, admittedly, was on Armed Forces, rather than My Aim is True). I'm still trying to decide whether "(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding Comics" works better than turning the whole title insode-out as something like "Scott Understands What's So Funny 'Bout Peace and Loving."

And, needless to say, both of those will have to get in line behind my perpetual inability to actually finish any project I start.

Post by **Greg Stephens** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:43 pm

Ray Radlein wrote:And, needless to say, both of those will have to get in line behind my perpetual inability to actually finish any project I start.

Right there with you, pal.

pmagnus-ish · Post by **pmagnus-ish** » Wed Feb 02, 2005 12:49 pm

Greg Stephens wrote:
Rip Tanion wrote:Bear beats Scott..
Rock beats bear?

Has anyone else played the roshambo game Bear, Ninja, Cowboy?

It is functionally equivalent to Rock, Paper, Scissors, but the gestures are more dramatic. Players start back to back and take three paces away from one another. On three, they turn and do one of the following:

Bear: Raise arms above head, like claws. Growl.

Ninja: Strike a kung fu pose. Hiyaa!

Cowboy: Point fingers like drawing a pistol. Bang.

It is resolved thus: Bear eats Ninja. Ninja chops Cowboy. Cowboy shoots Bear.

So the point of the poll seems to be to determine whether Scott is a Ninja or a Cowboy.

Rip Tanion · Post by **Rip Tanion** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 5:43 pm

Uh oh! Scott is pulling ahead of the Bear. His sicophants, toadies, and lackeys (

) must be out in full force, voting multiple times. Time to start staining fingers with purple ink to enforce "one person, one vote". The ballot box stuffing is getting worse than All-Star voting. And I just put big money on the Bear with my bookie, too. Come on, Bear! I don't need my thumbs broken!

efm wrote:
Rip Tanion wrote:Scott inks paper?
I don't think Scott has touched paper in years. It's more like "Scott right clicks mouse."

True, perhaps, but not as poetic, or in keeping with the classic game.

Greg Stephens wrote:
Ray Radlein wrote:And, needless to say, both of those will have to get in line behind my perpetual inability to actually finish any project I start.
Right there with you, pal.

That seems to be a problem with many of us.

pmagnus-ish wrote:
Greg Stephens wrote:
Rip Tanion wrote:Bear beats Scott..
Rock beats bear?
Has anyone else played the roshambo game Bear, Ninja, Cowboy?

Bear: Raise arms above head, like claws. Growl.

Ninja: Strike a kung fu pose. Hiyaa!

Cowboy: Point fingers like drawing a pistol. Bang.

I think I'd feel awfuly silly doing that.

pmagnus-ish wrote:It is resolved thus: Bear eats Ninja. Ninja chops Cowboy. Cowboy shoots Bear.

Why can't the Cowboy shoot the Nija? Why can't Nija put one of those cool Chinese stars between the Bear's eyes. Why can't the Bear knock the gun out of the Cowboy's hand and maul him to death? Time to rethink this game.

Rip Tanion · Post by **Rip Tanion** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 6:20 pm

OK, I just saw this photo on the web.

To hell with Scott v Bear. How about Burt v Bear?

Tim Mallos · Post by **Tim Mallos** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 7:38 pm

Rip, that photo is a fake - Burt is obviously stuffed, the bear was in no real danger.

Tim

pmagnus · Post by **pmagnus** » Thu Feb 03, 2005 10:47 pm

Rip Tanion wrote:
pmagnus-ish wrote:It is resolved thus: Bear eats Ninja. Ninja chops Cowboy. Cowboy shoots Bear.
Why can't the Cowboy shoot the Nija? Why can't Nija put one of those cool Chinese stars between the Bear's eyes. Why can't the Bear knock the gun out of the Cowboy's hand and maul him to death? Time to rethink this game.

Rethink the game, my eye!

It makes more sense than Paper defeating Rock by... wrapping around it? ...crumpling up so as to look like it? ...immolating so as to escape it?

Good old Rock. Nothing should beat Rock.

Ray Radlein · Post by **Ray Radlein** » Fri Feb 04, 2005 2:26 am

Rip Tanion wrote:
pmagnus-ish wrote:It is resolved thus: Bear eats Ninja. Ninja chops Cowboy. Cowboy shoots Bear.
Why can't the Cowboy shoot the Nija? Why can't Nija put one of those cool Chinese stars between the Bear's eyes. Why can't the Bear knock the gun out of the Cowboy's hand and maul him to death? Time to rethink this game.

In my version, both of those sets of rules apply at the same time: All characters defeat all other characters always. The trick, of course, is that you play it with two other opponents, and that you can only face towards one of your two opponents at a time. Therefore, it is possible for all three players to lose; on the other hand, it is also possible for one player to win, if the other two players select each other. The only thing you know for sure is that whoever you point at will lose.

I think I will call my version "M.A.D. Libs."

Lea · Post by **Lea** » Sat Feb 05, 2005 8:48 pm

Scott McCloud wrote:Kurt Busiek called this morning to cheerfully inform me that he voted for the bear.

That's our Kurt, always rooting for the ursus.

Tim Tylor · Post by **Tim Tylor** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:01 pm

This thread would be incomplete without a link to Mason "Tailsteak" William's Rock-Paper-Scissors board game.

Dea ex Machina · Post by **Dea ex Machina** » Sun Feb 06, 2005 11:19 pm

Something to, um, bear in mind when deciding whether to vote for or against the bear: The bear in the picture appears to be a Sun Bear, judging from the face shape and the long curved white claws, which are a giveaway. The sun bear is the smallest of the bear family, about the size of a medium-large dog, and they're relatively shy and placid beasties. As bears go, anyway.

Totally putting aside how he got into a fight with an Asian, endangered, nocturnal, tree dwelling bear... mmm, I think Scott could take him.

If it were a grizzly, or even a black bear on a bad day, nope. Not a chance in heck. Lunchmeat.

Rip Tanion · Post by **Rip Tanion** » Mon Feb 07, 2005 5:45 pm

Tim Mallos wrote:Rip, that photo is a fake - Burt is obviously stuffed, the bear was in no real danger.

Turns out, Burt and the Bear wound up doing a dance number together - that is until the Bear kicked him in the jiggery-pokies. If you missed the Burt-Bear FedEx commercial you can see it here (they've also got the ad for the upcoming Batman flick).

Dea ex Machina wrote:The bear in the picture appears to be a Sun Bear, judging from the face shape and the long curved white claws, which are a giveaway. The sun bear is the smallest of the bear family, about the size of a medium-large dog, and they're relatively shy and placid beasties. As bears go, anyway.

Just goes to show that a close up picture can make any animal look scary. Hell, it made Scott McCloud look like Bill Gates.

Tim Tylor wrote:This thread would be incomplete without a link to Mason "Tailsteak" William's Rock-Paper-Scissors board game.

Whatever happened to Match?